What anxiety is REALLY like

So. Anxiety. Yeah that’s a thing.
Anxiety is as you probably know, a mental illness that can manifest itself in many different ways. In this post I want to highlight what having anxiety is actually like- social media and just a general lack of talking about the subject can give people many wrong misconceptions about this illness. It is completely understandable that people who have never experienced anxiety don’t get what it’s like, but hopefully by talking about it more, people will start to understand it more, even if they may never truly know what it’s like to experience anxiety.
I also just want to say that the experiences in this post are mainly from my personal journey with anxiety so will not fully represent the feelings that everyone with anxiety may feel.

The mental side

Anxiety can entail a lot of negative thoughts- hence why it is called a mental illness. It is commonly represented wrongly on social media as thoughts that are entailed with low self esteem such as “I am so ugly” and “why does nobody like me”. Although low self esteem is commonly seen among people with anxiety, these two things are different and should be distinguished from each other when using the terms.

For myself a phobia is one of the main ways that my anxiety manifests itself. I will talk more about this phobia in a later post but thoughts about this phobia are a common part of my anxiety and can often spiral out of control.
Other negative thoughts can include worrying an excessive amount over everyday occurrences and many intrusive thoughts such as worrying about death and even very vivid nightmares.

These thoughts experienced with anxiety are almost always irrational and often you can even tell this ;however , it is extremely difficult to control these thoughts as they are very strong and intrusive. Fighting these thoughts is like trying to get your brain to fight itself- I know pretty tricky right?

The physical side

Now if you have never experienced anxiety, you are probably wondering why on earth the physical side is even a heading on this blog. But the physical side of anxiety is a real life struggle that sometimes I struggle with more than the intrusive thoughts (I know it doesn’t make sense yet but bare with me).

Anxiety can cause a load of physical symptoms, and by a load, I mean an load. If you are really really nervous for something such as an exam or an interview, you may get some physical symptoms including:

• stomach ache
• IBS like symptoms
• Lightheaded feeling/ dizziness (can lead to fainting in extreme circumstances)
• Shaking/ uncontrollable body movements
• Feeling hot and/or sweaty
• Random aches and pains
• Confusion and lack of concentration

Now imagine experiencing these symptoms pretty much constantly. This amount of stress can make you feel extremely tired (as can a lack of sleep when you’re worried about something), and maybe even fatigued. Now this is what the physical side of anxiety can feel like.
For me personally at the moment, tiredness and lightheadedness are the main ways that my anxiety has been manifesting itself. Quite often when I am out in public, I will feel lightheaded. The severity of this lightheaded feeling can vary- sometimes I am able to continue what I am doing and push past the feeling, but sometimes I do need to sit down for a bit in a private place (such as a car), to get the feeling to stop before I can continue. Sometimes I won’t even feel worried but I will still get lightheaded- doctors have ruled out any other medical reasons for this and I am currently undergoing treatment to try and help this.

The final physical aspect I want to mention here is panic attacks. Boy panic attacks. These things are not fun. During a panic attack, you can get really hot- my biology teacher used to always say to me “you get so hot when this happens” if she ever put her arm on me to comfort me. You can find yourself hyperventilating, crying uncontrollably, shaking, unable to speak. Many people say that they feel like they are dying during a panic attack- they are pretty intense to say the least. Not everybody with anxiety will experience panic attacks but if you do they are one of the most exhausting, scary things. When my anxiety was at its worse, I would generally have around 2 panic attacks a day and it would leave me feeling absolutely exhausted. Yep, it’s fair to say panic attacks suck.

Overall feelings

I think the best analogy I have ever heard for anxiety is it is like you are walking home and you hear footsteps like someone is chasing you. You turn around and nobody is there. You keep walking and the footsteps continue. Once again you turn around and nobody is there. You constantly feel like your being chased but you never see anything actually chasing you.

I don’t think I could ever fully describe the experience to somebody that has never been through anxiety themselves. I have days with my anxiety where it is just a mild feeling of stress and yet on my worse days I can really struggle to even get out of bed. Some people with anxiety (as well as other mental illnesses), can go out and work and some can’t. Some people experience physical symptoms that other people don’t get. I think one of the most harmful things for someone with anxiety can be wondering why they can’t just stop worrying and thinking they are just overreacting. Again much of this can stem from people labeling themselves with anxiety when they do not actually have the illness or from social media playing up anxiety to be something that it’s not. People with mental illness are not overreacting. Just because people can’t physically see what is going on does not by any means mean that it is not a legitimate illness.

In future posts I hope to talk more about the social stigma of anxiety as well as explore more about the other mental illnesses I suffer from and the journey I have been through so far with all of these so stay tuned to find out more! I really hope this post has hoped to clarify somethings about anxiety and if you think you are experiencing anxiety or any other mental illness I urge you to talk to somebody. There is always somebody there to listen whether in person, online or on the phone and it is super hard I know but please speak out and get the help you deserve for being strong enough to fight that voice in your head everyday.

Thanks guys!
Zoe x