What is therapy really like?

As I am soon to start my third course of therapy, I want to discuss what the experience of therapy is really like (I will give you a hint- you don’t lie down in a chair with a doctor asking you lots of questions).

Is it easy?

Definitely not! Like anything involved with mental illness therapy is a very hard commitment. The act of even asking for therapy is an extremely challenging feat in itself- it takes a lot of courage to admit you need help, even though everybody needs help at some point in their life.
Then you have the actual sessions. These can be very tiring and intense. In therapy, you usually talk about things that are very sensitive subjects. This is bound to bring out a range of feelings and emotions but don’t worry if these come out- this is what therapy is for. The therapist should be very professional about when you are displaying emotions, and there will always be a box of tissues on the table ready!

What happens in therapy sessions?

In therapy, a lot of it is talking about your thoughts and feelings. This is a really helpful tool- many people find just talking to somebody they trust can really help to put their thoughts into perspective. If you do decide to take it further and have therapy, the therapist will usually be very aware of what specific questions to ask and what advice to give to help you through.

My therapy sessions were generally an hour long. They would be in a fairly small room with some chairs and a table. At first it is very intimidating. You are entering a room with a complete stranger and about to tell them some of your most intimate thoughts and feelings. But the therapists are very understanding. They will help you if you don’t feel like you can portray your thoughts into words, and guide you to managing thoughts and feelings. My therapy sessions were usually just me and the therapist, but I was often given the opportunity to have my parents in to talk about stuff if I wanted to. There are also times where the therapist won’t ask any questions. If you are emotional, they may leave a small pause to let you experience that emotion and to fully explain your feelings without leading you in any particular direction- this can be slightly awkward but is very beneficial.

How do you find a therapist you like?

It is very important that your therapist is somebody that you trust and feel like understands you. Don’t be afraid to swap to another therapist if you are uncomfortable with the one you like. Every therapist has different techniques and a different style, so it is understandable that not everybody will get on with every therapist.

I had to change therapist in my second course of therapy. I had a meeting with this one therapist to see if I felt like I wanted to start treatment with her. She wanted to treat me using exposure therapy for my emetophobia. Exposure therapy is basically gradually having more and more to exposure to the thing that you are afraid of (if you were afraid of spiders, you would start by looking at photos of spiders, then videos, then the real thing etc.). My phobia is of being sick… you want me to go to sit in a room for an hour a week and watch videos of people being sick- no way. My phobia is caused greatly by my past and she wasn’t really going to try and help the underlying problems with my anxiety, depression and PTSD, she was just going to try and fix my phobia. She just definitely was not the right fit for me. Thankfully the next therapist that I saw was really good. She helped me to get through college and is the therapist that I will be starting with again soon.

I believe that you will have a gut feeling if the therapist is right for you. Therapy is a really important process for helping with a lot of people’s mental illness, so don’t feel ashamed if you need to swap, trust you instincts.

Does therapy work for everyone?

Honestly no. It is one of the most effective forms of treatment for mental illness, but as I am finding out, sometimes it isn’t a full long term solution. To have the best chance of therapy working, you have to invest yourself in the sessions as much as possible. If the therapist teaches you a breathing technique- use it!

I think therapy is the safest form of treatment. I think that if you are struggling, you should seek therapy. Even if you don’t believe that therapy will help- there is no harm in trying. Do not be ashamed that you are struggling. Accept the help that you truly deserve for being the amazing, strong person you are. I know that it’s hard but so is fighting mental illness- you can do this. You deserve to have a good life, there is no harm in trying therapy.

Is it expensive?

Well this one depends. My therapy is quite expensive- I am very fortunate to have such a supportive family that is able to provide me with the treatment. I live in England where we have the NHS which I almost went on but there was some mess up and it was getting desperate. Private health care is a very good option if you can afford it- I was told before that on the NHS the wait list could be 18 months which is actually ridiculous. The NHS is extremely underfunded for mental health services and this is having a real impact on many people and their access to therapy.

If all else fails, there are online services that you can use. Some people actually prefer these to therapy, as there is not the fear accompanied by going out of the house and to a new place. Websites such as talk space and better help offer online counselling services. Websites such as mind also have many online resources and helplines to help.

If you are in a crisis, please call 116 123 to talk to the Samaritans to help you through.

If you have any questions about therapy please comment down below.

Thanks for reading!
Zoe x