Welcome to my StoryCamp blog number 1!! For those of you who don’t know, StoryCamp is an initiative by Time to Change where you improve your writing skills and follow prompts to help spread awareness around topics all to do with mental health!
Our first writing prompt was ‘Why I believe it’s important to talk about mental health’. I already covered some aspects of this topic in this blog that I wrote for Time to Talk Day earlier this year (when we could actually see people ;D) :
Why We Need To Talk
So I wanted to approach this blog in a slightly different approach and talk about my personal reasons for wanting to share my story- I really hope you enjoy!
My journey with mental illness
My journey with mental illness started young. In short, I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) when I was 14 and proceeded to be diagnosed with anxiety and depression all by time I was 17. I have had various courses of therapy and am on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication.
It’s fair to say that being diagnosed with three mental illnesses before you’re even an adult is quite a harrowing experience. People tell you that your school days are the ‘best of your life’ and yet mine were shadowed with panic attacks and later self harm and suicidal thoughts. My school was not very supportive to people who were struggling (especially to people like me who used anger as a coping mechanism) and I felt more isolated than I had ever done before.
How this lead to you reading my jibberish!!
The one way that I can describe having PTSD at 14 is plain confusing. They never really speak to you in school about mental illness and I thought that only people who had thought in wars were diagnosed with those conditions. Nobody really reminded me that it was my own personal war that I was fighting.
As my illnesses got worse, I started to realise more how people would frown upon them. When I told people I had a panic attack, they would respond with ‘oh yeah I’m really anxious too’. The lack of education left to a large amount of unconscious discrimination-people didn’t even understand how hurtful these comments could be.
When I was at my lowest, I refused to admit I needed help. I wouldn’t talk to people about how I was feeling- worried about how people would react after so many negative comments in the past. I felt so alone- surely nobody else in the world was feeling this bad. I was on my own.
Turns out I was just a teeny tiny bit wrong there (well a huge bit wrong).
As my mental health improved, I started feeling open about it more. I researched and found communities of some incredible people who had been through a similar thing. I wasn’t alone at all!
I want to tell my story to inspire others. I want to educate those who discriminate against mental health problems and I want to help those struggling understand that they are part of an amazing community of warriors, all fighting their own war.
Most of all, I’m writing for 14 year old me (selfish I know). I’m writing for that little girl who had been through so much and felt like nobody would ever understand her. That girl that was labelled as an ‘attention-seeker’ and was being kicked out of school due to her illness. I’m writing to tell her to not lose that spark, not lose that fire and to keep fighting. If my words can help just one person it will be so worth it.
And that brings us to this point now! 20 year old me. Yes I do still struggle with my illness ;however , I believe that the more we talk, the more we make people understand and pave the way for all those little 14 year old Zoes in the world who are struggling.
I will continue to write, to talk and hopefully make a difference!
Thank you so much for reading!
‘Til next time
Zoe xx
my life with mental illness 
I was diagnosed with PTSD when I was 18, and I felt exactly like you – to me, it was something associated with soldiers and wars, not with teenage girls. The lack of conversation around mental health and wellbeing is leaving young people in the dark about this huge part of their own health. Well done for talking about your experiences and helping others feel less alone. x
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